Yes it is official, my alter ego is a kangaroo. I have a "pouch" in my abdomen. No really I do. My surgery last week found a deep infection right on top of my stomach. I was opened back up the entire length of the original incision. Back to square one so to speak.
At the wound center last Thursday, my wound vac was ordered. After many phone calls to my insurance carrier, they have finally agreed to cover the vac but at the out of network rate. Gotta love them, lol. I orginally thought that the vac was at the wound center, wrong, it was shipped to me and arrived yesterday. I go today to have my next attachment installed that I get to carry around for the next 4 to 6 weeks.
I do not go back to Cancer care until December 17th for a review of the healing and hopefully the return to my treatment. Actually, last Friday, I missed going to chemo. Brenda and I have made some friends that we laugh, cut up and even cry with. They share the same battle for their lives as we do.
This week has been really tough for me on an emotional level. Lots of thoughts enter my mind that havent been there at all since this ordeal has started. Dont get me wrong, I still BELIEVE with all my heart that I am going to beat this disease, sometimes the human side focuses on the negative and "what ifs". I try my best to stay positive all the time.
I know God is real and still has a master plan for this trial. I have no idea why I am having to basicially start over in my treatment plan. But I know the one that does know. I hope and pray every day for my friends and fighters that are battling this disease, Susie, Michele, Diane, Rob and many others. No matter what the odds are, NEVER, EVER give up the fight!
Believe,
Kevin
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3 comments:
Kevin,
In regards to feeling emotional, keep in mind we are cycling thru the stages of grief. So it's normal to have ups and downs. I have weeks where I think I'm going to beat this, then I have a week like this one, when I wonder how this will turn out. But hey, I'm just half-crazed from all the meds anyway.
Thinking of you,
Michele;
Kevin,
Hang tough man. Prayers sent. Set backs are normal during cancer treatment. Stay positive.
Love ya man,
Robert
So, this morning, as I felt a nervous breakdown heading my way, getting myself mired down in the financial woes of life, the emotional toll some things take, just feeling physically exhausted trying to run my rat race in life, Kevin - YOU popped in to my head...what a leveling mechanism it is to have a friend going through what you and your wife, what so many others, are going through right now...
You're always in my thoughts, though I feel this week I let myself forget that to an extent. I got caught up in what I feel is just overwhelming in my life, and then someone made me realize things aren't so bad after all...
I say a prayer for you every day Kevin...don't let yourself get mired down in the negative if you can help it. It's so hard to do, but I honestly feel keeping the positives in the forefront of your life does indeed help you along...
My best to you, and if there's anything I can do, please let me know.
Hugs -
Michelle
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